ROME, Ga., Dec. 14, 2023 – The holiday season reminds us there is value in stepping into the world of another. When we take even a tentative step towards another person with empathy and compassion, we create community, an environment of connection where we can rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.
That's a needed medicine right now at a time when many of us feel a piece of our identity is missing. Any time loss, change or transition enters our lives, it is important to remember we are not alone.
Having environments where we can authentically be human to name our losses and embrace our hopes provides opportunity to find community, gain a sense of wholeness and experience the value of collective healing.
I was reminded of that truth in a recent gathering to help people experience hope during the holidays.
The leader invited participants to talk about their loss and the pain of sorrow, and one by one people shared their powerful and meaningful stories. It was sacred to me to give witness to these testimonials of grief, regret and loss, and I was inspired by their stories of courageous adaptation.
These wise men and women spoke of how they had adapted and moved forward to grow and find meaning in moments where it felt there was no meaning.
It was the universal validation that, as humans, we all share these emotions. We have experienced upheaval and uncertainty, but something powerful happens when we take the time intentionally for one another and give witness to the things that matter most in our lives – our griefs, dreams and hopes.
Community helps bring healing
No matter where we are in the journey of grief, sorrow or regret, we are not alone. Someone once said, “Shared sorrow leads to endurable sorrow." When we come together, we validate our experiences and our stories; we find solidarity in both our sorrow and our hopes.
In those sacred spaces we are reminded that we are miracles, that we are unique and that we have intrinsic value from our Creator. When we share these common threads with others, we find belonging, care, compassion and, yes, healing. That is our hope for The Longest Night.
In a time of hyper-individualism, it is easy to forget the importance and necessity of engaging with others. We need one another. There is truth in the saying, “I need you, and you need me". Grief, whether from mourning a death, a relationship or a change, is a common thread that connects us all. It invites us into collective healing spaces where we can experience empathy, compassion and human connection.
Collective healing occurs in a safe, intentional space that promotes the medicine of human connection. It fulfills a deep need within us all to have our grief acknowledged and validated by others. But grief is also personal, and it is important to exercise wisdom in what we share and with whom we share it.
Healthy boundaries encourage us to find safe spaces where we can authentically connect with others and be honest with ourselves.
I like how Dr. Brene Brown defines connection:
“I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship."
Collective healing can come in a variety of ways, but one of the most powerful ways is the exchange between two people. It is in that exchange, whether for 45 seconds or 10 minutes, there is the opportunity to offer the balm of healing.
Jewish theologian Martin Buber said, “all of life is meeting." He saw the space between each of us as a potential opportunity to experience the sacred. Of the many things happening in our world, one thing is certain: Our world is hurting and in desperate need of healing.
Why a Longest Night service?
The Longest Night observance at Atrium Health Floyd promotes connection among teammates in a meaningful ritual we hope will lead to collective healing. Beginning at 7 a.m. Dec. 21 and continuing through 7 a.m. Dec. 22, The Longest Night promotes an awareness that the “space between each of us" can be healing and affirming.
It is a place to listen, to seek to understand, to give witness, to validate and to encourage one another, while being tender to ourselves all along the way.
Sponsored by the Atrium Health Floyd Compassion Champions and the Pastoral Care team, The Longest Night is based in the chapels at each of our three hospitals, but the observance can occur anywhere. It is a reminder that we are not alone in our sorrow or our sense of loss or incompleteness.
I believe that, here at Atrium Health Floyd, healing can take place when we come together to light our candles on The Longest Night.
The Rev. Jason Jordan is the director of pastoral care services at Atrium Health Floyd.